Gratitude to the Falls: A Tribute to Nature's Healer

You quite literally saved my life. As I sat at the bottom of your roaring, powerful rush over the top of the mountain, in your freezing cold water, I was comforted. Enveloped in your negative ions and soothed in a way I needed but didn’t know existed. I had just spent weeks in the darkest depression I had ever experienced. I wasn’t sure I would make it through to the other side. It had been a rough few months, and most everyone around me seemed to have an opinion about who I should be, what I should be doing, and how I should be feeling. I understand their intentions were to “help” and mirrored their own personal beliefs and convictions, but so much of what I was thinking and feeling contradicted what they were saying. It began to feel loud and chaotic in my head. I felt like I was suffocating under the weight and didn’t see any hope of making it out the other side. I didn’t need to be told what to do and how to feel; I needed to be seen, heard, and validated. You provided that.

Even in the loudness of your majestic, roaring water over the top of the mountain, you seemed quiet and soothing. You gave me space to quiet all the outside noise and influence and center myself, to focus on what it was that I needed. I needed to breathe. I needed to feel my way all the way through every emotion I was experiencing without being told what to do and how to do it. I needed to get honest with myself. I needed to wrestle through my religious beliefs and figure out what I believed to be true for myself, not based on what others had told me over the years. I needed to wrestle with which hard I really wanted to choose when it came to my marriage. Did I want the hard of staying and working through the pain that so deeply penetrated my soul, or did I want the hard of walking away and learning how to co-parent and live a new kind of life? I needed to evaluate friendships, walk away from some, and draw closer to others.

All of this I could do sitting in your freezing cold water, with your mist spraying off and lightly grazing my face as I looked up in awe-struck wonder at your majestic beauty and grace. I marveled at how confidently you flowed, how you were both powerful and gentle in the same breath. I wanted to learn to carry myself in the same way. That day with you forever changed me in ways I will never fully be able to express. I stepped out of the crippling pit of despair that day and instead entered into a space where I learned to quiet the outside noise, question all I had believed, wrestle through hard emotions and choices, and form fierce friendships with those willing to stand with me.

There was loss in that season—loss of relationships, loss of religion, loss of false self—but even in that loss, there was so much I gained. I gained freedom, I gained clarity, I gained hope. I gained relationships and a sense of self. I gained the ability to walk through emotions. I gained a confidence and a peace I didn’t know existed. There are no words that will ever express the gratitude I hold for you and the gifts you so freely give.

But as a tribute and a thank you, I will continue to chase after you in all the places you are and sit at the base of your majestic beauty, absorbing your negative ions and allowing my mind to grow both quiet and inspired at the same time. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for accepting all that I am, exactly as I am. I feel seen, heard, and validated in your presence. I feel calm and peace and refreshed. Thank you for all that you are. I will forever go chasing waterfalls and falling more in love with you with every encounter.