Breaking Chains: Letting Go of the Lies That Hold Us Back

Sitting in the theater, entranced by Wicked on the big screen, I felt tears welling up over and over. The underlying message of the story resonates so deeply within all of us. I’ve read the book and seen the stage production, so I knew the storyline. But today, as I watched, it hit differently.

When Elphaba shared her "secret" with Galinda (no spoilers, I promise), Galinda responded with such sincerity and empathy: "That might be your secret, but it doesn’t make it true." I had to wipe my tears away. It wasn’t really a secret at all—it was a lie Elphaba had been carrying, a false belief about herself that she’d picked up somewhere along the way.

Hearing those words, I felt them echo in my own heart. "That might be your secret, but it doesn’t make it true." I think so many of us hold on to these deeply rooted "secrets"—lies we’ve believed about ourselves for as long as we can remember. I know I have.

Here’s the thing I noticed watching Wicked: Elphaba used that false belief to push herself forward. It was that so-called "secret" and how she showed up in the world that led her to Shiz, where she met people who would ultimately break her chains and show her who she really was. That false belief brought her to her purpose.

We all have a similar story. But what we choose to do with those lies is what makes us different. We’re born into flawed families, raised by imperfect humans, and shaped by the world around us. Somewhere along the way, we pick up beliefs about who we are and how we’re supposed to show up. Some of us get curious about those beliefs—we ask questions, confront them, and allow ourselves to change. We leave behind the lies, the baggage that isn’t ours to carry, and we heal.

Others stay chained to those beliefs, stuck in cycles of shame, bitterness, and pain. Some hurt others, damaging relationships, while others bottle it up and live lonely, inauthentic lives.

Even Galinda—the “good” one—wrestles with her own false belief. She clings to the idea that she’s only good, which traps her in behaviors that don’t align with her heart. Her need to be “good” becomes self-centered, and she ends up making choices she regrets. Sometimes, being truly good means breaking the rules. It means confronting your own shadows, being misunderstood, and even being labeled as bad to stand for what’s right.

Elphaba was willing to be seen as the villain to do what was right, but only after being betrayed by those she trusted. That betrayal forced her to confront the lies she carried and make a choice.

The beauty in all of this is that we have a choice too. We can let our "secrets" define us, or we can examine them and decide what’s true and what isn’t. Then, we can use that truth to set ourselves free.

For me, perfectionism was my "secret." For years, I believed I had to be perfect to be loved, successful, accepted—you name it. Even when I rebelled, I perfected the “fuck-up,” if you will. I poured everything into doing even that perfectly.

It took years of therapy and wrestling with myself to realize how much that belief had shaped my life, my relationships, and my path. I had to let go of the idea that I was only lovable if I was perfect. I had to replace it with a truth: I am loved, flaws and all.

That shift freed me. I could show up in my relationships vulnerably, without my shit together, and people still embraced me—actually, they embraced me even more. It saved my marriage, too. I stopped needing control and allowed my kids to show up imperfectly without taking it as a reflection of my worth. It gave me the courage to write and share without obsessing over perfection.

So, my friends, if you’re holding onto a "secret"—a belief that weighs heavy—take Galinda’s words to heart: "That doesn’t make it true." Examine it. Acknowledge how it’s shaped you, guided you. Then thank it, and let it go.

Reframe it. Set yourself free.

As Elphaba says when she finally sees her own false beliefs for what they are:

“Something has changed within me, something is not the same.I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game.Too late for second-guessing, too late to go back to sleep.It’s time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap.”

When we discover the truth at our core, we face a choice. We can stay stuck in submission to our lies, or we can defy gravity. We can let that truth shake us awake, propel us forward, and move us closer to our purpose—even if it costs us everything. Because staying chained to the lies is too high a price to pay.

So, here’s my challenge to you: What “secret” are you carrying that might not be true? How has it shaped your life, your choices, and your relationships? What would it look like to let it go, to defy gravity and leap into the truth of who you really are?